My Death Wish

Everybody has wishes..

When you ask someone what their death wish is, they'll look at you like "What kind of weirdo are you?"

But if you ask them what their birthday wish is, They would say "I need to do this thing or buy that thing, get this trendy product or that useful gadget" 

This society is such that it has made talking about death itself as a taboo.

Everybody gets birthday wishes once every year but death wish, only once

Talking about death is a bad thing

If you say talking about death is scary, then it shows you are scared to face death.

- Gandhi (No way he said something like that lmaoo)

Just like birthday, death day also comes but it only comes once, so be prepared for it. It's not like you spend a day's time thinking how your death will be but instead here is how I would plan it and hopefully someone fulfils it for you. Here is how I would do it.

My death wish

Sample death wish example

    In life we spent a lot of time consuming content and it all comes down to this one moment of ending, the grand finale, the off switch called death.

    I am not saying go crazy and celebrate your death but atleast be prepared for it.

Anyway so here is my death wish.

1. After I die, I want my organs to be donated for science and though I don't have a donor card, that's pretty much what I wish to do. (Idk how to do get one).
2. Next step is I would give all account passwords before death so that it would be easy for people to see what kind of tastes I got and would give a much more detailed perception about what kind of tastes I was into.
3. After donating my vital organs to science, I wish to be burnt into ashes and there should be no giving money to pundits or anybody, I don't want my death to be a business for anybody.
4. All of my material posessions like gadgets, instruments and books should be split into 16 and must be equally shared by all the orphanage homes that are within 16-60 kms proximity from my home. So the nearer the better.
5. All of my money will be divided into 4 and first two part will be given to my mother and father respectively to take care of my funeral expenses, everything else should be on me, funeral has to be really simple, no crackers, no flowers, no big boxes and shit, make it as cheap as possible with the money given.
6. If you make my death into a business, I am coming to haunt you. 
7. Next part will be donated to Vipassana research institute, the last part will be thrown with me while I am burning in the pit to show that nothing matters while we go.
8. The song selection while I am burning would be:
1. Il ventoro doro - Jojo bizzare adventure
2. Free bird 
3. Vishnu sahasranamam - M S Subulakshmi
4. Honky tonk Badonkadonk
5. All songs from Initial D (Starting with Deja vu)
6. Liked songs from my spotify - Music is compulsory or else I am coming back to haunt y'all
9. Whoever is crying in the funeral should be yelled gayyyy like this 
10. There should be a 6969 INR cash prize for someone who finds a picture of my penis in my phone and laptop gallery. (or even any porn videos I used to watch)
11. Whoever shares that "I died" in their whatsapp status should be called gay joe mama.
12. No flowers should be kept in my funeral, I hate flowers, if you can't handle the smell burn me first and then resume the function later.
13. There won't be any food on my funeral, just boiled peanuts, channa, sprouts, corn and rosemilk. You can't put a south indian meal here, bitch its my funeral not free meal.
14. Everybody should be let known that my discord username order were:
1. BOOTYHUNTER69
2. BUTTSOUP69
3. FLEXMASTER69
4. FLEXY
15. Pretty much everything that I owned should be given to someone else or burnt, I dont want any remainders, except photos, ok screw that burn the photos too.
16. If any pending projects in writing (check my tick tick app in mobile or notion) and google docs in laptop, somebody has to finish it in the same style that I would do, finish atleast one, I'll go at peace. (Ok maybe the last one is for the homies who loved me and want to do something for me so mostly it will not be fulfilled like I had the project where a guy would buy a dog and that dog would be a weed smoking dog, it was left in chapter one :( if someone finishes that after I die, I would feel good)
17. This is the most important one, people should be let known that I was a writer and will be a writer even in the future births. I may not be a good guy but I am a honest guy. Also I should be bathed in olive oil after whatever customs people do to me because I am a virgin and will be bathed in virgin olive oil before being burnt in the flames.
18. People should talk about what they shared in common with me, like I love family guy so people should watch family guy s1-s5 random episodes in my funeral and maybe play table tennis, badminton?? Ok at this point I have no hope that people would do any of this but if they made my death into a custom ritual, I will be really mad and haunt them for life. Minimum : Put the songs and the food as i said and be happy. Maximum : do everything else.
19. Departing message : 
1. "Follow god not guru, religion, Love souls not people, Quit social media, desires and attachments. Search for freedom and meaning in life and stop searching for peace all over outside, it was born with you on the inside, you'll find it in meditation."
20. If they print a flex, I want them to include this gif image along with my picture as a passing away with this meme. Make my death into a meme. Add as much memes anywhere and everywhere possible, print it, share it and go crazy with it.

Accept death with open arms

Only death that is meaningless is realising that we are in control of everything else, people should realise that death is not in our control and I would really appreciate if people be vocal about their death wishes, it is amazing to have atleast 16 people in your funeral and get your death wish fulfilled rather than having 100 people come and sing pity songs for nothing.

So at the end, my request is form your death wish and don't let someone else decide the way how you wanna die. F for respects. Peace.

Wrote on 1/2/24 in writers cafe taramani.